Asking the important questions.

Today my roommate, Paul, had the pleasure of teaching sex education to 35 unruly sixth graders. I personally cannot imagine many things more awful than this. But Paul is a trooper, so he did his damndest to maintain some level of professionalism and academic integrity throughout this trying classroom experience. One of the segments of the class had the students write any questions they might have on slips of paper, then Paul would try to answer them in front of the class. The following are a few of these questions (I wish I could re-create the handwriting, which is part of the charm):

"What is sex?"

"How long can dicks grow?"

"What age do you have to be for sperm to emerge from a boy's penis?"

"What are dildos and condoms and why do we need them?"

"Hi I'm Jeff what's a condom?"

"What are semen and why is hot water bad for your sperm?"

"How do you get rid of moles?"

"What are you smelling?"

and finally,

"How are babies born and why are we attracted to girls and why are my balls so big?"

That last guy there started off with two very reasonable questions, so you could only assume that the third would follow suit. But he decided to throw in a little curveball, and I applaud him for that. However, my concern is that he really IS worried about the size of his balls, and his cry for help got dismissed as classroom prank. That poor kid. Let's hope that he finds help for his huge balls.